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How To Be Happy – Part 1

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Daniel and me hanging out.
Daniel and me hanging out.

Studies on How To Be Happy

How to be happy has been the main focus of my studies for the last six or seven years. That is because I went through a period in life where I was not very happy. (See About Me and Codependency and Joy In My Posterity) Feelings such as sadness, anxiety or depression are part of life and have a purpose. However, the majority of my emotions at that time were negative with occasional bursts of happiness. It should be the other way around. After a while I learned where I was going wrong. I saw why what had worked for me since childhood wasn’t serving me anymore. This post is my own thoughts on happiness, but they are consistent (at least in part) with popular and classic experts in a variety of fields. 

Me, my brother Mark, and Sheila.

Some of these professionals are: Abraham Maslow (Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs); neurologist and psychologist Victor Frankle (Man’s Search for Meaning); psychiatrist, researcher, author Daniel Amen (Change Your Brain, Change Your Life); researcher Brene Brown (Daring Greatly); the “father of modern mindfulness” John Kabat-Zinn; parenting experts Jim Fay, Charles Fay and Foster Cline (Love and Logic), behavioral scientist Paul Dolan, philosopher Codependence expert and author Melody Beatte (Codependent No More), Family Therapist Douglas Dobberfuhl M.S. (Healing the Codependent Heart), motivational speaker and minister Norman Vincent Peale (The Power of Positive Thinking), Roko Belic’s popular Netflix Documentary “Happy”, and, most importantly, the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ found in the scriptures. 

I believe all of these professionals (with the exception of the Lord) have part of the answer on how to be happy, but are missing important components to the bigger picture.

Rat Park

This series of articles was prompted because recently my husband told me about an interesting study on drug addiction with rats.  Isolated rats in cages were given a water bottle with morphine and a water bottle without. The isolated rats consistently drank from the drugged water. 

Another group of rats were also offered morphine water and plain water, but these rats lived together in “Rat Park”. Bruce K. Alexander,Professor Emeritus, Simon Fraser University described rat park as “a great big plywood box on the floor of our laboratory, fill[ed] with things that rats like, such as platforms for climbing, tin cans for hiding in, wood chips for strewing around, and running wheels for exercise.” He continues, “ Naturally we included lots of rats of both sexes, and naturally the place soon was teeming with babies.” The rats in “Rat Park” tried the drugged water, but consistently drank plain water instead.  He has written about the study in The Globalisation of Addiction: A study in poverty of the spirit, Oxford University Press, 2008. 

Large pine box for rats
https://www.brucekalexander.com/articles-speeches/rat-park/148-addiction-the-view-from-rat-park

My Rat Park

His study got me thinking, “What would my “Rat Park” be like?”  What does my family need so we won’t feel drawn to drugs or other harmful behaviors such as compulsive shopping, gambling, overeating, social media, video games and screen time? Even positive things can be done compulsively: religion, cleaning, socializing, etc. So, do I need to fill my environment with the human equivalent of platforms, tin cans, woodchips, and running wheels?  Maybe I need to have a nicer house? Maybe I need more vacations and entertainment?  

These thoughts reminded me of my blog “How to Be Happy When You are Poor“. I compared my ideas in that post to Professor Alexander’s findings.  Bruce R. Alexander concluded that people need “a viable social and cultural life with purpose, adventure/stimulation, attachment, identity, and belonging“. As I pondered his study I organized my thoughts about where true happiness comes from.  I agree with him, but would like to add to the answer he gives.

Father holding two-year-old's hand on a path. From How To Be Happy When You Are Poor.
My husband Wes with Daniel

My Philosophy on How To Be Happy

The key to happiness (and dealing with all the challenges of life) is to fill our lives with the love and the light of Christ by loving God, ourselves, and others.  As we do these things we will have a viable social and cultural life with purpose, adventure/stimulation, attachment, identity, belonging, and much more.

WHAT IF A PERSON IS NOT RELIGIOUS?

Does this mean that people who do not believe in God (and specifically Jesus Christ) cannot be happy? No, there are obviously many people around the world that are happy who are not Christians or even religious.

THE LIGHT OF CHRIST

Everything good and of God is full of the light of Christ. To the degree that people live according to good and just principles they bring the light of Christ into their lives, even if they do not know where it is coming from. “The Light of Christ is the divine energy, power, or influence that proceeds from God through Christ and gives life and light to all things.” (“Light of Christ“) Even if they do not realize it, people connect with God through nature and loving his creations. The light of Christ encompasses knowledge, intelligence, love and every other positive, godly attribute. It is also the source of what we call our “conscience” and is different from the Holy Ghost.

Split Sky By Jessie Eastland – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=22851938
what love is

Think of love as unity, nurturing, and connection.  The highest, noblest and strongest kind of love is charity. “Charity is the pure love of Christ. It is the love that Christ has for the children of men and that the children of men should have for one another. ” Charity is “the most joyous to the soul” (see 1 Nephi 11:23).”

Series on How To Be Happy

So, our social and cultural life, purpose, adventure/stimulation, attachment, identity, belonging, and light of Christ are all found in loving God, ourselves and others.  Let’s look closer at this theory. Over the next few weeks I will post 4 more blogs. They will not be a complete explanation on how to do these things. Past and future blog posts address how to love and overcome obstacles to love in more detail. Here’s what’s coming.

  1. How to Be Happy – Part 1
  2. Love God – Part 2 of How To Be Happy
  3. Love Yourself – Part 3 of How To Be Happy
  4. Love Others- Part 4 of How To Be Happy
  5. Overcome Love Road-Blocks- Part 5 of How To Be Happy

Until Next Time… Keep Smiling. 🙂

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Teenagers Are Scary

Having teenagers is scary. It’s hard to not be worried and down. But, life is scary in general. I keep reminding myself the same thing I thought the day that I got married- “This will only work if I do it with the Lord.”

I think what makes teenagers so scary is that I worry that they will lose their faith and ruin their life. There is so much pull from the world. They are surrounded by evil and base influences that they seem to welcome and seek out. Will I be close enough to them? Will I push them away with discipline? How can I help them be wise? How can they see that the restored gospel is true? Will they develop a personal relationship with he Savior?

But, I have to have faith and be optimistic. The Lord will help me to receive revelation day by day. My peace and joy will show them that the restored gospel is true. My wisdom will show them how to be wise.

I realize that I need the constant influence of the Spirit for me to survive spiritually and have that peace. My spirituality can help my children. And, ultimately, my happiness doesn’t depend on what they do. It depends on me knowing that I’m doing what God wants me to do each day.

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Holidays and Laundry Mountains

This post is made up of excerpts from my journal in late 2013.

November 24, 2013

I haven’t been too well in the head ever since Daniel was born. I’m not so depressed or sad. I just feel stressed, scatter-brained, no sex drive, worn thin by all there is to do. I talked to the Lord about it tonight and I feel the answer is for me to start exercising. I really don’t want to. Not because I don’t like exercising, but because it means 1-2 hours out of my day! But, I know I need to. I could exercise at home. Maybe with a video. But, I’ll probably do it more and harder at the YMCA. We’ll see.

[Note: I eventually got in the habit of exercising five-six days a week by using 20-minute workouts by Denise Austin on YouTube. She does a 5-minute warmup, 5 minutes of aerobics, 5 minutes of strengthening a specific body spot, and a 5 minute cool down. I made playlists for my convenience. Here are the links by body spot: ABS, ARMS, LEGS]

November 25, 2013

I exercised this morning to a little video.

Daniel’s First Thanksgiving. November 2013

December 4, 2013

Today was SO hard and I’m VERY tired. I had the kids go to bed early because they were tired too. Behavior was terrible and they wouldn’t do their homework. There are so many things my kids do wrong that I can’t focus on fixing all of them. I’m just doing what I can now and hoping I can get to the rest later.

December 6, 2013

Mike said yesterday that when he goes on the rides at Knott’s Berry Farm it tickles his heart. I loved it. What a cute age. I’ve been exercising and I feel a lot better.

Making bread with the boys.

December 13, 2013

I called Sister—– for advice because I was at my end with the boys. She told me a lot. She dedicated all her time to her boys and prayed A LOT. Those were the two things that made the biggest difference. And she was strict with them, would explain things to them to teach them. She made them do chores and help her clean.

December 15, 2013

I was SO tired today. I had a mountain of laundry from not having time to fold since last Tuesday. Wes helped me fold a lot of it tonight.

Wearing Dad’s Suit

December 16, 2013

It was a good day. I worked hard. It takes a lot of energy to take care of 5 boys!

We had Family Home Evening and they were irreverent during the lesson. But we had fun cutting snowflakes.

December 17, 2013

I’m getting caught up with the housework. I was behind because last week was so busy. I had a hard time getting the boys to do their morning chores. The best part of the day was going to the library downtown. It has a nice kids area and the boys really liked it. They got a lot of books and Wes read with them in the evening.

So Cute!

December 19, 2013

Today was hard. I’m late to bed again. I feel like I battle with the kids all day long. But, we did have some good times. We read books. We did a couple science experiments. We looked at the rain. We made Christmas ornaments out of toy soldiers.

December 25, 2013

What a great Christmas! Jacob got a bell from Santa’s sleigh which was something he really wanted and it was very special for him. He was so good and sweet all day today despite all the sugar he ate in the morning. I think it was because of how loved he felt. And he felt special.

Jacob’s Christmas Bell

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Dear Diary

I stopped blogging consistently after the kids came home from school due to the Covid-19 shutdown. There just hasn’t been enough time. However, I would like to start sharing excerpts from my journal entries during a time in my life when I was doing a lot of emotional work.

In 2013 I started writing in my journal almost daily. In 2014 it was daily. Daniel, my youngest, was a baby and my other four boys were very young (2 to 8 years old). I think this might be inspirational for mothers of young children.

Jefferson, Jacob, and Keith November 2013

November 19, 2013

It has been rough the last few days, but I’m still trying to move forward. I have to deal with a lot of retaliation from my kids because I expect a lot from them. I’m trying to be nice, mild, and meek.

November 22, 2013

I have been working hard to teach the kids to be responsible, not hit, work hard, etc. It’s exhuasting. It rained very hard yesterday and may rain again tonight. I did the budget last night so I could go shopping today. Good thing too! We didn’t have as much as we thought after figuring tithing and bills. P.S. The boys are great.

November 23, 2013

We went to Knott’s Berry Farm today as a family. [November is veteran’s month at Knott’s Berry Farm.] It was a lot of fun. We were protected and all kept together. I enjoyed holding Jacob’s hand throughout the day. I got to hold Keith’s and Mike’s hands too some.

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Our Christmas Traditions

Like so many others, Christmas is our favorite holiday and we love it!  This year a friend asked me what traditions we do that help to take the focus away from the presents and onto the true meaning of the season, especially for young children.  

What is the true meaning? 

Of course, it is to celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  However, it goes beyond his birth to his ministry and sacrifice for us.  Christmas is about the divinity of Christ and the salvation that He gives us. The Love of God is central to His Saving Grace and to the season of Christmas.  Therefore, Christmas is a time to share that love.  It is a time for “peace and goodwill toward men.”  

Bringing ourselves and others to Christ through faith, hope, and charity is what it is all about.

Here are some Christmas traditions that help us feel the Spirit of Christmas— the Spirit of faith, hope, and charity.   Serving and uplifting others shares Christ’s love and light and makes Christmas truly meaningful.  

Join in the Light The World Initiative. #LightTheWorld

Look up suggestions and a Light The World calendar on https://www.comeuntochrist.org/light-the-world-2020  Share the hashtag on social media posts to inspire others to join in as well.  Ask your children each day (in the morning or at bedtime) what they want to do to Light the World that day.

Watch movies about Christ’s birth 

I find it easiest for my children to pay attention to religious movies first thing in the morning or at bedtime. Here is my favorite Nativity movie: The Christ Child https://www.comeuntochrist.org/light-the-world-2020/the-christ-child

Have a Family Service Project

As a family, decide who could use some cheering up or talk about someone with a specific need that you can help with.  Decide how to help them and do it as a family.  This may be a Secret Santa operation of giving gifts or doing service for an individual.  

Reach Out to Seniors

Keeping social distancing guidelines this year may mean phone calls or gifts instead of visits.

Make or Buy Treats For Neighbors

Call Family, Friends, & Those That are Lonely

Have Children choose a family member to give a gift to

My children draw each others names so that they can buy a gift for one of their brothers.  This year they earned money to purchase the gift themselves.

Have Christmas Devotionals

I normally do devotional with my children at bedtime. That is when I read the scriptures to them and sing to them.  The days and weeks before Christmas I will read Christmas stories and scriptures to them and sing them Christmas songs.  

Read Children’s Christmas books that are focused on Jesus Christ.

The following websites have a list of Children’s storybooks about Jesus. You may find some of them at your local library by doing a title search. I read The Animal’s First Christmas last night and it brought a sweet feeling into the room.

Courtney Westlake: Our Favorite Christmas Books About Jesus

ORISON ORCHARDS: 25 Christ-Centered Christmas Books for Children

Amazon: More than 40 Children’s Christmas Books that Focus on Nativity and Jesus (Amazon)

Christmas Morning Devotional

We tell our children that they are allowed to open their stockings as soon as they wake up on Christmas.  This gives them something to do and play while they wait for everyone else to wake up.  After everyone is awake (mom and dad are always last), we have a family prayer a short devotional before we open gifts.  

Give a Gift to The Lord Devotional

I like to do this devotional each year.  Teach the children about the gift that God gave to us for Christmas.  Then ask them to think of a gift that they will give to him.  You can write their desired gifts down and wrap them up.  Then, open them on Christmas morning and reread them for a short and fun Christmas morning devotional, because their attention span is short that day. 

Seek For Jesus Devotional

This is another fun devotional.  Teach about the wise men seeking for the young Jesus.  Explain that wise men still seek Him and ways that we can seek Him.  Then, have the children go out of the room and hide a small figurine of the baby Jesus from your nativity (or a picture of Jesus Christ).  Make it visible, not completely out of sight.  Whoever finds Him gets to hide it for everyone next.  Keep playing until everyone gets a turn.

I asked my seven-year-old, Daniel, how he wanted to focus on Jesus this Christmas.  He said he wanted to hide Jesus Christmas morning before we open presents and then whoever finds Him gets to open a present and then hide Him again.  He said we could seek the Lord before each present we open! I think we will do it for each of the kid’s first gifts. 

Soup Kitchen Service

When our children are old enough I would like to bring them to help out at a soup kitchen or seniors Christmas dinner.  My family did this once when I was a child and it made me feel the Spirit of Christmas more than anything else.

Participate in Christmas Church Services

Find out when your church or a local church is having a Christmas program and watch or attend.

Merry Christmas!

There are a few ideas, many more are on Light The World.  

This Christmas has been more joyful to me in contrast to the rest of 2020.  This season the love and light of Christ shine even brighter.  Merry Christmas! 

I am the light which shineth in darkness, and the darkness comprehendeth it not. John 1:5 and D&C 6:21
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How I #HearHim

In this post, I want to share the three main things that have helped me #HearHim, or in other words, receive personal guidance and revelation from my Creator. President Nelson said, “In coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.” (see Revelation for the Church, Revelation for Our Lives).

Three main things have made a huge difference in how often and how clearly I hear the Lord. I recently shared these in a YouTube video I made for parents of kids with dyslexia.

Three Things That Help Me #HearHim

In the video I talk about — 1. Having a quiet time each morning to pray, study scriptures, plan, exercise, and shower. 2. Filling my life with light through positive media, choices, commandments, and repentance. And, 3. Practicing Christian Mindfulness (see Christian Meditation and Mindfulness, How to Practice Christian Meditations, and Christian Mindfulness: Carrying the Meditation With You). I started doing these things about 7 years ago and they have dramatically increased my peace and my ability to #HearHim.

We Need To #HearHim

It is such a blessing to have the gift of the Holy Ghost and to be able to be in constant communion with our Father. Remember, you can search #HearHim to see how others (including the leaders of the Church) connect with God and get personal revelation. And our church leaders have encouraged all of us to share what helps us to #HearHim. This is important in a world where people are searching for answers and searching for happiness.

I will conclude with something President Nelson in March 2020 General Conference. “Daily immersion in the word of God is crucial for spiritual survival, especially in these days of increasing upheaval. As we feast on the words of Christ daily, the words of Christ will tell us how to respond to difficulties we never thought we would face.” Thanks for reading this short post!

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How the Restoration of The Fulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ Makes Me Happy

Recently The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints issued a Proclamation to the World in honor of the 200th anniversary of an amazing event – the first vision of Joseph Smith Jr. (Learn more about the first vision here.) This information makes me happy! So much of the joy in my life comes from the restoration of the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I have had many powerful and personal witnesses that what Joseph Smith described really happened and that he was called to be a prophet of God, just like ancient prophets. In this article, I want to share how the restored gospel of Jesus Christ makes me happy. When I say the restored gospel, I am referring to knowledge of Jesus Christ as my Savior, the plan of happiness, and the organization of Christ’s church on the earth again.

The First Vision of 1820

My Relationship With God

First and foremost, my relationship with Jesus Christ is personal and real because of the restored gospel (see How to Be Happy Part 2, Loving God). I understand His character and how to connect with Him. I have felt closest to Christ as I serve Him by building up His kingdom on earth and ministering to His children. As the current president of the Church, Russel M. Nelson, said recently, “This is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He stands at its head and directs all that we do.” (see Opening the Heavens for Help)

My Relationship With My Family

Knowing I can be with my family forever makes me happy! Angelic visitors (John the Baptist, Peter, James, and John the beloved) restored the priesthood to Joseph Smith – the authority of God to act in His name. Elijah gave to Joseph Smith the keys of the sealing power. I have been sealed to my husband. This has caused us to be very committed to our marriage. Not only that, the teachings of the church and our personal relationships with Christ, have saved our marriage many times. Especially as the Lord moves us to forgive each other and keep trying.

Families are Forever

The House of The Lord

Temples, houses of the Lord, have been a huge strength and source of happiness to me over the years. The restoration of the priesthood allowed temples to be built. I receive peace, revelation, comfort, and knowledge from God when I am there. This has had a profound impact on my life and happiness. (see a short video on temples)

Fellowship and Service

Another joy of the restoration is the organization of the church itself. I have had so many opportunities to serve others in the good work the church does. Also, the people I have met at church have been my friends and helped me. Our congregations are set up in a way that we get to know each other and bless each other’s lives. In addition, I have had countless spiritual experiences in church meetings that make me very happy.

Ancient and Modern Scriptures

The word of God in scriptures and from modern prophets makes me happy. The restoration of Christ’s ancient church has provided additional scriptures through modern prophets. We also hear from the current 12 apostles, first presidency, and other church leaders every six months in General Conference.

the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, March 11, 2019, Rome, Italy.

The Book of Mormon

The Book of Mormon is an ancient book, written in the Americas, that was translated by Joseph Smith in 1827. The gospel of Christ is clear in the Book of Mormon. False interpretations of doctrines are lessened by comparing the Bible and the Book of Mormon together. I love Alma’s explanation of mercy being made possible by our Savior. (Alma 42). And Lehi’s teachings of Christ rescuing us from the spiritual and physical death brought on by the fall of Adam. (2 Nephi 2).

Doctrine & Covenants and The Pearl of Great Price

The Doctrine and Covenants has a special place in my heart because it is full of the words of Christ. It is a record of the revelations given directly to Joseph Smith and a few other modern prophets. There are so many gems of knowledge in it about the last days (D&C 29, 34, 88), the light of Christ (D&C 88), how to receive personal revelation (D&C 6:23, D&C 8:2-3, D&C 9:8-9) , the nature of the Godhead (D&C 76:20-24, D&C 130:22), the spirit world (D&C 138), the three degrees of heaven (D&C 76), and so much more. One of my favorites is D&C 121:34-46 on the power of the priesthood. I could go on and on about what I have learned from the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. I have felt so much peace, joy, and hope as I study them.

The Canonized Scripture of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

Additional Knowledge

Knowledge is perhaps one of the greatest elements of how the restoration makes me happy. “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” (John 8:32) I know who I am, who my Heavenly Father is, who my Savior is, where I came from, why I am here, where I am going, the purpose of life, the way to live. What happens after death is not a mystery. The way to receive a remission of my sins and how to forgive others is clear. I know where to turn for peace, for strength, and for miracles. Of course, I only know all of these things in part (1 Corinthians 13:9) and I am learning the breadth and depth of them little by little as life goes on.

The Gift of The Holy Ghost

Finally, the gift of the Holy Ghost is available as a constant companion because of the restoration of the gospel. How many times He has comforted me, conveyed messages from the Lord to me. The Holy Ghost is our friend. It is available to us through baptism and confirmation by one with the authority from Jesus Christ. The fruits of the Spirit are always available to us when we have the gift of the Holy Ghost: love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, and all things good. When I feel close to the Spirit, I feel close to Jesus Christ. This is the greatest happiness.

Conclusion

I am eternally thankful for all the peace and happiness that has come to me from the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I want to show my gratitude to the Lord by loving others, keeping His commandments, and serving Him.

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Christian Mindfulness: Carrying the Meditation With You

In my last two posts, I introduced Christian Mindfulness and Meditation. I also explained ways to meditate on Christ. In this post, I will talk about Christian mindfulness, which is being focused on Christ throughout the day. Doing this helps me connect with God more than when my thoughts are “far from” Him. (see Mosiah 5:13) I also feel greater peace and receive more personal guidance than without being mindful of the Lord.

Meditating on the Lord regularly during times of quiet makes it easier to bring awareness of Him back when we are busily engaged in other activities. 

How to use Awareness for Christian Mindfulness

  1. As often as you can remember, ask yourself to breathe deeply and straighten your posture. This will bring you back to your time of meditation and refocus your thoughts on the Lord. 
  2. Check in with your feelings throughout the day.  Focusing on your feelings carefully during times of quiet meditation enables you to recognize if you have positive or negative feelings at any time in the day.  Recognize when you feel the Spirit and thank the Lord for it. Ask yourself why you are feeling it or why you are not? The Spirit testifies of Christ and helps us know if what we are doing is pleasing to the Lord or harmful to us.  He warns us of danger. Be aware of all these feelings. It was revolutionary for me to learn to tell people, “I don’t feel comfortable with that.” And to be able to say no because of a feeling instead of always needing a logical answer.
  3. Take inventory of what is around you and then think of things that are not in your sight or close to you physically.  Such as loved ones far away, other countries, things happening in other parts of the world and even the universe. We are like an aphid on a leaf that can only see a few inches around him.  We need to realize that our existence is part of something much bigger. This helps me put my problems and joys into perspective.

Focusing our Thoughts on the Lord for Christian Mindfulness

To me, this is the most exciting way to apply mindfulness to Christianity. God has asked us again and again to do this. “Pray always” (Luke 21:36) (3 Nephi 18:15, 18-19, 21)

Our thoughts tend to become busy like a chattering monkey. (See Learn meditation from this Buddhist monk) We talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.  We are almost addicted to endless thinking, much of which is useless or negative.  When we try to focus our thoughts on the Lord we will train our minds and change our thought patterns to do so more and more continually.

The Lord lovingly urged us, “Look unto me in every thought.” (D&C 6:36) ”Pray always, that ye may not faint, until I come. Behold, and lo, I will come quickly, and receive you unto myself.” (D&C 88:126)

Here some ways we can focus our thoughts on the Lord

  1. Repeat simple prayers such as “Thy will be done,”  “Abide with me,” “Thank you.”  
  2. Ask if what you are doing is pleasing to Him,
  3. Talk to Him in your mind or out loud.
  4. Ask what He would like you to do and how you can serve Him.
  5. Ask how you can serve Him.
  6. Think of the serenity prayer when things don’t go your way. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” 
  7. Thank God for everything you can think of as you are going about your day.  
  8. Ask, “What would Jesus do?” 

The Practice of The Presence of God is a short book of writings by Brother Lawrence, a lay monk who worked in the kitchen in the Carmelite monastery in Paris. Brother Lawrence shares how he brought God into every aspect of his life.  He was always practicing Christian mindfulness. This small book can have a big impact on the reader’s life. I highly recommend it.  

Conclusion

Practicing Christian Mindfulness focuses our thoughts on God. It opens our mind to guidance from the Lord and so that we can “Hear Him” and to feel His love.

This scripture has always been a favorite of mine. It sums up Christian Mindfulness and the blessings it brings.

“Cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever. Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.” (Alma 37:36-37)

Thank you for reading. Feel free to email me or share your comments.

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How to Practice Christian Meditations

My last post, Christian Meditation and Mindfulness, introduced and defined Christian meditation and mindfulness. Practicing this has helped me change from feeling stressed and anxious most of the time to feeling peace and joy most of the time. Meditation and mindfulness literally change your brain!

Christian Mindfulness

This is a traditional mindfulness meditation with the added element of awareness of the Lord.  

  1. Be aware of your posture.  Straighten up, lift the rib cage, elongate the spine.  Sit tall, but comfortably. (This is not traditional, but I always pull in my abdominal muscles as well.)
  2. Be aware of your breathing.  Now that you’ve made space for your lungs, breathe deeply and slowly, but naturally.  With every breath, realize it is from the Lord— “the breath of life”. Thank Him for it. 
  3. Be aware of the Lord.  Realize that God gives you every breath, life, food, shelter, and everything you have and are.  Realize that He is in and through everything all around us. Think of Him being aware of you and all of His creations in that present moment.
  4. Now add an awareness of how you are feeling.  How do you feel physically? If you are in pain, accept it.  Don’t fight it. How do you feel emotionally? If you feel anxious, ask yourself why.  (It may help to stop and write about possible causes for negative feelings and possible solutions.)  Are you feeling love, joy, peace, warmth, or calm? These feelings come from the Lord. 
  5. Be aware of your thoughts as they come and go. Many of the thoughts that come are inspirations and you can write them down when you are finished so you can act on them and remember them.  Other thoughts are distractions and without resenting them, you can send them on their way.  

Continue this kind of awareness practice for as long as you would like.  Most meditations are 5-25 minutes long. There are so many mindfulness meditations available through apps and online that practicing them will help you get the hang of it and you can add awareness of the Savior.

Christian Prayer Meditation

Our human nature can tend to pray quickly and robotically, without much thought or mental effort.  Mindfulness helps me be more focused as I pray. I involve my body and my senses. As in mindfulness meditation, I straighten my posture, breathe deeply, listen to the sounds around me, feel the sensations in my body, and especially — pay attention to the feelings in my heart. 

Prayer meditation has helped me to truly learn to pray.  I am not in a rush to finish. I want to just sit and be with God for at least 5, 10, 15 minutes.  What does a person do praying for that long? You might-

  1. Think of all the things you are grateful for, slowly and in great detail.  Thank the Lord for all of them. You can think of experiences and people that have taught you.  Thank God for activities that make you happy. I am always so thankful for the flowers, birds, sky, trees and other creations.
  2. Think about God and thank Him for all of His attributes, for being a loving Father that is always aware of you,.
  3. Commit yourself to the Lord and express your faith in Him.  Tell Him you trust Him, want to do His will, believe in Him.
  4. Express your righteous desires- tell Him you want to obey, have greater faith, and help others.
  5. Talk to Him about your concerns- If anything is troubling you, describe it to Him and ask for guidance.  
  6. Pause throughout your prayer and be still, remembering to breathe, remembering your posture, allowing thoughts to come and sending them on their way if they are distracting.  Some thoughts will be guidance from the Lord through His Spirit. Others will be your own due to your wandering mind.
  7. Describe what you plan to do as a result of your prayer and inspiration received.  This allows you to feel if your conclusions are right. Do you have peace when you think about it or do you feel anxious?  Here are some scriptures about how we get answers from the Lord:
    •  “…you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings…” (D&C 9:8-9) 
    • “I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.” (D&C 8:2) 
    • “Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter?” (D&C 6:23)
  8. Thank Heavenly Father for any answers you have received, for any peace, joy, or hope you have felt and end in the name of Jesus Christ.

None of these things should be considered step-by-step rigid rules.  Speak to God reverently, but naturally, as the words come to your mind.  I usually write down the thoughts I had after I am finished praying.

Christian Scripture Study Meditation

Some synonyms with meditation are “contemplation, thinking, pondering, reflection, study.”  Reading the word of God can become Christian meditation by paying particular attention to the words, actions, and descriptions of Christ in the scriptures.  I was recently challenged to highlight every verse that referenced the Lord and I also highlighted anything He said. I had not realized how much of what I was reading were actually words from His mouth.  I learned more about who He is. I felt I got to know Him better.

Christian Writing Meditation

Writing can be meditation as our thoughts are so focused on what we are doing that we don’t think about anything else and almost lose track of time. For Christian writing meditation you could try :

  1. Writing questions that are triggered by Christ’s words in the scriptures and then writing answers to them.
  2. Writing down insights and observations from the scriptures as you read.
  3. Freewriting about Jesus Christ.  Describe Him and what He does and says.  
  4. Writing about personal experiences when you have felt His love,  presence, or help.  

Christian Visualization Meditation

Sit or lay with your eyes closed.  Relax your body. Be aware of your posture, your feet on the floor, your hands in your lap.  Focus on your breath. (This is all part of traditional mindfulness meditation). Now think of the Savior.  

You can visualize scenes like:

  1. Him reaching out to you, 
  2. Christ hugging you, 
  3. Christ holding your hand and walking with you.  
  4. An act from his life mentioned in the scriptures.  Picture it in great detail, like a movie. Add to the scene as if you were to recreate it in a film.  Picture the scenery, the other characters, and the clothing. 
  5. Think of HIs light in and through all things.  Ponder that His Spirit is everywhere in the universe and that the past, present, and future are one eternal now for Him. “…I am over all, and in all, and through all, and search all things, and the day cometh that all things shall be subject unto me.” (D&C 63:59)

To Sum it All Up

Practicing Christian meditation opens our mind to receive revelation from God. We can meditate on Christ through:

  • Christian Mindfulness Meditation
  • Prayer
  • Scripture Study
  • Writing
  • Visualization

“Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.” Alma 37:37

Other Helpful Articles on The Topic of Christian Meditation

Christian Mindfulness by Christian Simplicity

10 Things You Should Know About Christian Meditation by Crosswalk.com

Faithful Meditation by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

Meditation, Meditate in the Topical Guide by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

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Christian Meditation and Mindfulness

During this time of turmoil in the world, peace and lasting happiness are a welcomed topic.  As I mentioned in my last post, Enmity and Unity, we are happiest when we are united in love with God and our fellowman. The practice of Christian meditation and mindfulness unites us with God.

Mindfulness meditation is very popular these days.  It “is a mental training practice that involves focusing your mind on your experiences (like your own emotions, thoughts, and sensations) in the present moment.”  Mindfulness meditation helps improve mindfulness outside of meditation sessions. 

Mindfulness is often described as, “a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.” 

What are Christian Meditation and Mindfulness

“Christian Mindfulness Meditation” can be defined as a meditation practice that focuses on the Savior and the present moment.  The purpose of this practice is to increase “Christian Mindfulness” which is, awareness of and unity with Christ throughout the day. 

Christian Mindfulness Meditation adds to mindfulness meditation an awareness of the Lord, His power, His goodness, and His presence in and through all things.  The Lord has instructed, “Look unto me in every thought.” (D&C 6:36)

Benefits of Christian Mindfulness

Mindfulness has been known to help people be “open to surprise, oriented in the present moment, sensitive to context, and above all, liberated from the tyranny of old mindsets.” People also notice improvements “ in health, productivity, overcoming addictions, avoiding burnout, and increasing our control and potential as we grow older.”  

By adding Christ as the focus of my mindfulness I have personally found that I am much happier, my thoughts are more positive, and worry is replaced with faith. I also believe Christian Mindfulness promotes the following:

  1. We give credit where credit is due – When we add the Lord to mindfulness all of the above is true and we will know where that power and flexibility to handle life on life’s terms (and not ours) comes from.  
  2. We put ourselves in tune with the Lord – When we quiet our minds from endless chatter and distractions we leave room for the Spirit’s voice.  We open ourselves to receiving God’s guidance as we look to Him in every thought.
  3. The Lord nourishes our spirits – Christ is our source of light and life.  Focusing on Christ will nourish our Spirits with His light and love.  Our Spirits need Christ’s light and love like our bodies need food. When our thoughts are consumed with the day to day activities and struggles we become spiritually drained.  Christian Mindfulness gives constant nourishment to our souls as we stay connected to Him.  
  4. Christ becomes the Center of our life – Christian Mindfulness makes Christ the center of your thoughts and therefore, the center of your life.

Next week I will post “How to Practice Christian Meditation.”

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Enmity and Unity

This post is part of the “Obstacles to Love and Happiness” series. 

Enmity’s Affect on Happiness

Enmity (animosity and opposition toward others) affects our ability to connect with others.  As we discovered in How To Be Happy Part 1-4, lasting happiness and peace come from connecting with God, ourselves, and others.  Because enmity towards others affects our closeness with them, it significantly hinders our happiness.  

Enmity is the Central Feature of Pride

With great insight, Ezra T. Benson declared that enmity is “the central feature of pride,” the universal sin.1 Enmity cuts us off from each other to the degree that it is present in our relationships.  We experience enmity with God when we pit our will against His, do not seek Him, and give ourselves credit for what He does for us.  We even experience enmity with ourselves when we hate ourselves or don’t do what we need for proper self-care. Obviously, we have enmity with others when we don’t see one another as equals, criticize, or do anything that creates a distance between us.  

How Pride and Enmity Pervaded My Life

A few years ago when I hit rock bottom emotionally and had a sort of mid-life crisis, the Lord showed me the extent of my pride. It pervaded every aspect of my life.  No wonder I wasn’t very happy.

I spent my days self-aggrandizing or self-soothing.  When I got really honest with myself I saw that I often said things to make others look like the villain so as to excuse my own faults.  I would manipulate people and situations for my own satisfaction.  

To self-soothe I would eat and seek entertainment.  Even my religiosity and efforts as a wife and mother were so that I would feel good and get approval for being “a good Church member” or a “good mom.”  Doing good for the wrong motives is better than not doing good at all! At least it put me in a position to learn and mature whereas sin only increases our pride and enmity.  

All of these actions that put my interests above most everything else resulted in contention and enmity between me and others, my true self, and God.

An Unexpected Answer

During this difficult time I was in the temple and I asked God what I should do about a few problems in my life.  My answer, which came into my mind as words, was, “Be one with your husband.” It seemed unrelated to things I was concerned about. But, I was relieved because it was so simple.  (Although easier said than done.)

Focusing on Unity Humbled Me

I found that as I made unity with my husband my goal each day, each hour, other things fell into place.  I started to think about unity with my children and others. My expectations for cleaning and chores took a step back to make way for unity. Chores got done, but not always my way and with more flexibility and less perfection.

When I was in a conversation or disciplining I held in the back of my mind that I wanted to maintain a feeling of closeness with that person. I often prayed for help to know how to handle a difficult situation. As a result, I learned how to talk out disagreements more diplomatically.

Having unity/oneness as my main goal meant that being right or getting what I wanted was NOT as important anymore.  I also began to apologize and make amends when I messed up, so as to restore the feeling of unity.  This experience got me thinking about the relationship between humility and unity.

Enmity and Pride vs Unity and Humility

Ezra T Benson said, “Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still missing.”  Then he taught (as I mentioned previously), “The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen.”

Similarly, most of us think of humility as “the condition of being meek and teachable”2.   Or, to “recognize gratefully our dependence on the Lord—to understand that we have a constant need for His support…”3

My experience got me thinking that like Ezra T. Benson said with pride, maybe these are all elements of humility, but the heart, or core, is still missing.  The central feature of humility is unity—unity with God and our fellowmen.   

Unity is oneness or harmony with others.  When we are truly humble we will be one with God and our fellowmen.

In my experience, trying to be one with God and my fellowmen causes me to get on my knees, swallow my pride, admit my mistakes or sins, recognize that I need help, and seek additional knowledge.  Focusing on unity also causes me to put my own will, selfish desires, and appetites aside every hour of every day if they do not promote unity with God and my fellowmen.  

Replace Enmity with Unity by Drawing Close to the Savior

Removing the enmity obstacle to joy is definitely an on-going, life-long process — not a one time cure.  

Jesus Christ, our perfect example of humility, was always one with the Father.  He prayed for us, “That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us…that they may be one, even as we are one:” John 17:21-22

Repentance and gospel living are important ways that we Come Unto Him. (see D&C 18:11)

Repentance

As we repent we will change, grow, and mature in Christlike ways until we return to the humility of young children. “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things that the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Mosiah 3:19)    

Gospel Living

“When we live the gospel, receiving the saving ordinances and keeping our covenants, our natures are changed. The Savior’s Atonement sanctifies us, and we can live in unity, enjoying peace in this life and preparing to dwell with the Father and His Son forever.”4

Check Motives

Another way we can reduce enmity is to check our motives for what we do or even think.  If our motives are based in self-satisfying or self-aggrandizing it puts us above God and others.  Sometimes our motive could be to put ourselves down, which is also enmity. Checking our motives for our actions will help us become aware of enmity. Awareness is the first step to repentance. 

As we repent of our pride and start to change our motive will become to submit to God’s will out of love and faith. We will draw close to the Lord as we humbly, constantly seek His will.  

To Sum It All Up

  • Enmity is animosity and affects our ability to connect with others and therefore hinders our happiness.
  • Enmity is the central feature of pride.
  • Enmity can be more prevalent in our lives than we are aware of.
  • Unity, the opposite of enmity, is the central feature of humility, the opposite of pride.
  • Come unto Christ to replace enmity with unity.
  • Repentance and Gospel Living are important ways to come unto Christ.
  • Checking our motives can help us be sure that they are not selfish.

Overcoming enmity will result in us experiencing greater joy as we are united with God, others, and our true selves. “the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind…” (Moses 7:18)